


rage, retribution, reward

by gossamerthoughts



Series: invisible string [2]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: Chloe Decker Needs A Hug, Cute Lucifer, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Lucifer Morningstar Being Lucifer Morningstar (Lucifer TV), lucifer tries to help
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:14:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26431732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gossamerthoughts/pseuds/gossamerthoughts
Summary: “And what even is that?” she demands, gesturing furiously to the new wallpaper on her computer.“It’s me,” Lucifer says, looking a little hurt.If she weren’t so angry, Chloe would admit that it’s a little cute and quite hilarious.But she’s livid, and it is therefore not funny at all.(based on lucifer changing chloe’s screensaver in season 3, ep 12 “all about her”) Deckerstar one-shot.
Relationships: Chloe Decker & Lucifer Morningstar, Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar
Series: invisible string [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1924108
Comments: 22
Kudos: 214





	rage, retribution, reward

**Author's Note:**

> Someone on reddit (of course) made an actual screensaver based on it here: https://www.reddit.com/r/lucifer/comments/adorfr/i_made_a_hello_detective_wallpaper/

**I. RAGE**

She has had  _ enough _ . It’s been a long-ass day and Chloe cannot deal with Lucifer’s Luciferness right now.

But this is the last straw.

Lucifer is standing in front of her desk proudly, like a puppy who’d just shit all over the house but thought it’d please his owner. “I’m  _ particularly _ proud of the new filing system,” he says, grinning from ear to ear. “Complete with a sexy victims pile, obvious killers pile, and boring crimes pile, to be ignored, of course.”

Chloe’s hands twitch; she fights the sudden urge to strangle him.

Paperwork takes so damn long to do, not that her devilish partner would know. He quite literally never did any.

“I cannot even,  _ I cannot even, _ ” she bursts out, rolling her eyes upward as if she can beseech God to control his so-called wayward son. You know, if she bought into the whole I-am-the-Devil thing.

This narcissistic, egomaniacal man child is amusing and quite a good partner, but sometimes she wishes it was just her again. By herself. Solving crimes. Wasn’t so complicated then.

_ Wasn’t so fun, then _ , a traitorous part of her mind remarks.

Dan’s gaping at Lucifer. “Should’ve just gone with the French toast, man,” he says, throwing his hands up in defeat. He doesn’t know  _ why _ he’s rooting for “Deckerstar,” as Ella’s dubbed it, but it’s looking like it’ll never happen at this rate. Probably because the man never listens to him. As Chloe stalks over to face Lucifer, glaring at him from behind her desk —  _ her  _ desk — Dan makes his retreat.

_ Good luck, buddy,  _ he thinks. Man, was Lucifer gonna need it.

And here the rant comes. Chloe is rarely angry enough to go off on someone at work, much less in the middle of the precinct, but Lucifer has a way of pushing every single button. “And what even  _ is _ that?” she demands, gesturing furiously to the new wallpaper on her computer.

“It’s me,” Lucifer says, looking a little hurt.

If she weren’t so angry, Chloe would admit that it’s a little cute and quite hilarious.

But she’s livid, and it is therefore not funny at all.

Lucifer’s brow furrows as she raves, his expression growing more and more puppy-like by the second.

“But Detective, I don’t need your help anymore,” he says finally, as soon as she pauses for breath.

“Then  _ why. are. you. still. here?” _ Chloe demands, blue eyes alight with fury.

“Because this case matters to you, and therefore it matters to me. We’re  _ partners _ , Detective.”

And just like that, all the anger dissipates. Chloe opens her mouth and closes it again, feeling like a balloon that’s just been deflated.

“Huh. Well, you should’ve just led with that next time,” she says finally, her expression softening as she looks up at her partner.

Now that she’s back to her more rational self, she rifles through the files and feels laughter bubble up within her. “Hot suspects? Graffiti? This is gonna take me forever to resort, you know,” she says, trying to maintain an indignant tone.

He protests, she has an epiphany, they solve the crime, Deckerstar saves the day again.

* * *

**II. RETRIBUTION**

Chloe nearly forgets about the wallpaper the next morning.

That is, until she turns on her computer and Lucifer’s abs are staring right at her, the red words  _ Hello Detective _ splayed over his mostly naked body.

She hears his voice in her head as she gapes at the wallpaper in shock. “Hello, Detective,” a familiar British voice whispers in her ear, and she jumps, automatically elbowing the person in the ribs.

“Ouch,” he protests, but looks very un-hurt. “Right, I see that you were entranced by my gift to you. Like what you see, Detective? You only have to ask…”

Chloe spins around to glare fully at her partner. “I forgot to change it, that’s all,” she says.

“Right you are, Detective,” he says affably. “Just in case you somehow misplace it, I’ve also emailed it to you and changed your laptop and phone wallpaper as well.”

Her mouth falls open.

“I believe a  _ you’re welcome _ is in order, Detective.” His tone is cheeky and Chloe knows that her cheeks are most definitely flushed.

“I — Lucifer, why do you think I want to see your half-naked body every time I open any of my devices?”

He shrugs. “Thought it’d make you happy.”

She examines his expression — there’s no leering here, not even a trace of a smirk. He genuinely thought that his abs would bring her joy, and that’s why he did it.

How curious.

Throwing her hands up in defeat, Chloe gives one of her signature ‘huh’s and shakes her head in defeat. Though he wasn’t quite wrong… as much as she hated to admit it, she’s finding it hard to tear her eyes away from Lucifer’s handmade wallpaper.

She gets him back at the diamond store, though, canvassing his body with her hands, having far too much fun playing the difficult girlfriend yelling at her dumbass fiance. She nearly breaks character when he swallows hard at her ministrations, his brow furrowing in confusion, then realization, then indignation as he protests, “I am  _ not _ cheap!”

Chloe knows that would bother him. “You cheap son of a bitch!” she growls.

“For the last time, I am  _ not _ cheap!” He looks like his feathers have been thoroughly ruffled. Good.

“I want my future ex-husband arrested for being  _ cheap _ !”

“Right, for the final time darling, I am not —”

They both pretend that they don’t feel a little thrill at the words “husband” and “darling.”

“Well, if anyone’s cheap,” Lucifer lowers his voice to a stage-whisper, “it’s  _ her _ .”

Chloe treats him to one of her signature eye rolls, but the little laugh that’s been bubbling up inside her finally escapes when they’re outside the jewelry store.

“Ohmygod!” she cackles, snorting a little as she wipes her eyes.

Lucifer stares at her as if she were deranged. “I don’t see what Dad has to do with this. Unless you’re laughing at Him?” he asks hopefully.

“No!” she gasps. “You — you were so upset at being thought of as  _ cheap _ ! You, in your fancy-schmancy three-piece suits and hoity-toity British accent — as if you’d ever be thought of as  _ cheap _ !”

He looks deeply aggrieved for a moment before smirking. “You’re right,  _ darling, _ ” he says. “I could buy you all the diamonds in the world, because you deserve them.” With that, Lucifer spins and opens the door for her before getting into the car.

Chloe stands stock-still before the open door. Lucifer’s moments are genuine tenderness get her every time.

* * *

**III. REWARD**

It’s just another Tuesday, but Chloe wakes up with the feeling that someone is in her room. She keeps her eyes closed, but slowly reaches for the gun she keeps underneath her pillow, just in case. Her fingers wrap around the familiar weapon and she bolts straight up, pointing the gun at the unwanted presence. “What do you want?” she demands, eyes flying open.

Lucifer’s standing there with his hands up, looking as polished as ever in a black and indigo three-piece suit. “Hello, Detective,” he purrs. “Is this a little role play?”

“Lucifer!” she gasps, putting the gun down. “Why are you in my room?”

He gestures to the giant poster that’s hanging on the wall facing her bed. “Installing your belated birthday present, of course.”

It’s the computer wallpaper… made  _ very _ life-sized. “No, Lucifer, you can’t—” she stops, realizes that telling him he ‘can’t’ do anything makes him want to do it all the more. “I mean, you already gave me a birthday present.” She fingers the bullet necklace at her throat, fingers tracing the well-worn metal.

“Right you are, Detective. But I wanted to give you an extra reward. Think of it as a thank you gift.”

“Thank you… for what?”

“For being the best partner ever. And for putting up with me.” And what that, the Devil walks out, leaving Chloe to look at his life-sized abs.

“Huh,” she says, cocking her head.

From outside the room, Lucifer listens and grins, giving Trixie a silent high-five.


End file.
